I’m doing just fine, as long as the sun shines, as long as the world is light. As long as I run, move, keep on breathing. I know you’re with her, your love, your new love, the one you said you’d never be with. I know you still care, love me too much, can not, will not let go.

When night falls our souls wander towards each other. When darkness is all we can see, you and I find each other in the alleys, little streets, crooked corners of this mad world. We catch a glimpse of our life together, jump in a world full of lust, passion and desires. Enough for me to survive another 45 years, never sufficient enough to keep you with me another 45 hours. You want a simple, just enough, just another picked white fence life, everything I will never be able, want to give you.

I grew up with the warmth of your lustful breath on my body. I’m straightening my spine, crooked from worries and fears. I’m stretching my skin, wide enough for it to fit another love. I try to stand tall to guard myself to every desperate boy coming my way, trying to get a piece of my rosebud, salty kisses.

He’s my December, I give him another ten days. Don’t look back, don’t think, don’t question, just move on without a moment of regret. We met, walked together a mile or so. We grew to be tougher then November, we learned not to think like October, we saw not to act like September, we know January will be better.